5 December 2022

I struggled this week to write the post. I was not in the mood.

Mood’s a thing for cattle and loveplay.

Gurney won’t give me a break, so the question of this post is:

How do I get work done when I’m not in the mood?

Duty is my Northstar.

Above the horizon, 3 ideals.

Below, their reflections.

Clarity: I visualize the road and the destination.

Confidence: I get acquainted with fear, and let it pass through me.

Conviction: I feel a sense of purpose, and the sense of purpose is an anchor against the waves of circumstance.

These are 3 heavenly abstractions. Eternal and common, yet immaterial. Duty touches this world, therefore I need tools that are tangible.

Right there in the horizon, where the Earth meets the sky, my objectives. Tangible but distant. Visible. Even if I don’t see the path, I can see the destination.

Next, a system of work.
The system prioritizes
process over results
focus over effectiveness
presence over productivity.
Walking, not arriving.
Most get this wrong.

What is the simplest system you can have? Devoting time to a task, regularly. Committing to show up is a system. You start from there, and then pile up the methods, the tools and the toys. But I must never forget: committing regular time to a task is all I need.

Finally, right next to me, action. Just action. It all starts—and ends—with the mere act of doing. Thinking is not doing. Doing is tangible. Doing requires movement, even if it’s just your fingers over the keyboard.

These 6 elements live in a delicate balance. One that I have not yet figured out.

This week my balance broke first on clarity. I had a number of topics to cover but I couldn’t find my way through any of them.

Then it started affecting my confidence: “I need to do more research to cover this, if not, I’m going to look like an idiot.”

Then it blurred my objectives: “I’m not sure what to write about anymore.”

Then it paralyzed my actions: I was showing up, but doing nothing, quickly falling into a rabbit hole of internet browsing.

Then it threatened my conviction: “I guess it’s no big deal if I don’t publish this week.”

In order to recover, I decided to explore other potential topics. Resetting my objective would hopefully restore my clarity. I put myself back into action by brainstorming ideas, focusing on less demanding tasks that would demand less confidence.

Soon enough, I found this post, and the elements fell back into place:

New objective
restored clarity
regained confidence
back to work
back into action
this is why I do this.

It doesn’t always happen in this order. It doesn’t always break in the same way. Sometimes I lose my sense of purpose first, sometimes I fall off the wagon of my committments, sometimes I don’t dare to expose myself.

But, whichever the starting point of failure, once it starts to crumble, it threatens to break down everything else. Like those islands in Inside Out, collapsing in Riley’s mind, one after another.

If all 6 break down, it’s done.

I must not let that happen.

So I learned to read the signs and react promptly. I react mostly by intuition. I have not yet figured this out. Sometimes the tangible rebuilds the abstract. Sometimes the abstract triggers the tangible.

Clarity
Confidence
Conviction
Objective
System
Action

It's all in those 6.

This week I saved it.

The heavenly ideals and their worldly reflections, back into balance.

This week, I honor my duty.